Thursday, June 26, 2014

More Bad Knockoff Products Of The Day

In China the made of.

He cut off his own arm with that hatchet.

For kids with no personality

Danger funny!

Butter It Snot

Nothing comes between me and my Calvims.

Shaking is so 1975

Oh yeah, Nani. Whodafuck is Nani?

Demon Donkey is fun neddy lovely

As in "Take a..."

G is for goat

Somehow yelling out JUMBLING TOWER! doesn't have the same ring to it.

Do NOT get the creamed chipped beef.

Forget about butter. Only margarine for you.

It's just okay.

Tastes like hi-tops.


Silly Raccoon! Pranks are for kids.

G.I. Joe's weekend persona.

After losing two Death Stars, Vader got busted down to MP

I don't give two...

Gum for potheads

News: Magical Office Worker Able To Turn Everything He Touches Into More Work For Colleagues

From The Onion.
Magical Office Worker Able To Turn Everything He Touches Into More Work For Colleagues

BLOOMINGTON, MN—Noting that his mystical abilities extend from the most everyday tasks to the largest quarterly projects, coworkers at Oracle Media reported Monday that enchanted office worker Matthew Kosnick is capable of turning everything he touches into additional work for his colleagues.

“His powers are astonishing; every responsibility that is left in his hands—from compiling the company’s sales figures, to putting together PowerPoints, to refilling the coffeemaker—magically becomes hours of extra work for someone else to complete,” said junior sales representative Alicia McCall, marveling at Kosnick’s supernatural ability to instantly increase the hassle of any project tenfold.

“There is no assignment he can’t turn into a weeklong slog that results in multiple conference calls and forces his fellow employees to stay late several nights in a row. And with just a few quick lines in an email, he is able to set off a miraculous chain of events that eventually takes up all of the department’s time and effort. It’s breathtaking.”

At press time, the magical employee could be overheard remarking how busy his coworkers appeared and asking if there was anything he could do to help.

News: Cat Brings Home Bag Of Weed, Owner Tells Police

Narcs! Your own cat?! Come on!
Cat Brings Home Bag Of Weed, Owner Tells Police

Authorities in Halfway Bush said they received a call from a nervous woman on Sunday wanting to report that her feline friend had just delivered “a bag of drugs” to her front door. When police arrived, the woman was eager to show them exactly what her cat had dragged in -- a baggie containing several grams of meowjuana.

“It was approximately 5g of cannabis, which has a street value of between $100 and $150,” said Sergeant Reece Munro.

Apparently, the cat was oblivious to the fact that not only is his human extremely lame, but also a boldfaced nark. Sergeant Munro says the woman was ecstatic to have the marijuana that her bad kitty brought home removed from her property.

"You hear of cats bringing dead birds and rats home but certainly in my career I've never seen anything like this before,” said Munro. "I guess you never really know who's keeping you honest these days, do you?"

Although the cat is not cooperating with authorities, Sergeant Munro says that his department is currently conducting a full-blown investigation in hopes of determining where the mystery bag of cannabis came from.

''We will continue our investigation and look at having the plastic bag fingerprinted,” he said.


5 Things You Might Not Know About "Caddyshack"

From Mental Floss.

1. The studio wouldn’t make the movie unless they got a star.
They got three instead, although two of them were largely untested. The filmmakers originally wanted actor Don Rickles as the slobbish condo magnate Al Czervik, but settled on comedian Rodney Dangerfield. Caddyshack would be his first big feature film. Bill Murray was fresh off of three years at Saturday Night Live and had appeared in Meatballs (co-written by Caddyshack director Harold Ramis) and Where the Buffalo Roam. The movie finally got a green light when Ramis secured Chevy Chase to portray the film's pompous playboy Ty Webb (whom they had written the part for anyway).

2. Bill Murray showed up for six days and made comedy history.
At first, Murray's appearance as oafish groundskeeper Carl Spackler was planned as a quick cameo, but his characterization was so funny that Ramis requested he stick with the production a bit longer. Murray filmed for a total of six days, and all of his lines—including his Dalai Lama speech—were improvised on-the-spot. Murray took it from there and ad-libbed lines that would, in 2005, be named to the AFI's list of greatest movie quotes of all time.

3. Rodney Dangerfield thought he got no respect.
Dangerfield became nervous whenever he turned on his personality in front of the camera. When actor Scott Colomby (slick caddy antagonist Tony D’Annunzio) asked Dangerfield about his struggles, Rodney allegedly said that he was bombing because nobody was laughing at his jokes. Colomby reassured the rookie actor that if they laughed they’d ruin the take.

4. The introduction scene between Murray and Chase was based on the contents of a studio note.
The original script for Caddyshack did not include a scene where Carl Spackler and Ty Webb meet, so the studio sent Ramis a note requesting that he take advantage of the talent and come up with a funny scene for Murray and Chase. Some on the set were skeptical of the outcome, thanks to some bad blood between the two after Murray replaced Chase on SNL. Like much of the film, the scene was ultimately improvised by the SNL alums and was shot without incident.

5. The owners of the country club were not happy about the explosions on the golf course.
The climactic scene of Murray’s gopher-killing plastic explosives were real pyrotechnics set aflame at the shooting location, Rolling Hills Country Club in Davie, Florida. This was news to the owners of the country club, who had made it clear to filmmakers that the outrageous climax couldn't be shot anywhere near their golf course. To get them to “comply,” producer Jon Peters invited them out for a swanky lunch away from the country club to “thank them for letting the film use the location.” Ramis then had the special effects crew blow up the fake green while they were away.

(Ten more things you might not know about Caddyshack here.)


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