Wednesday, November 20, 2013

News: Rich Man Buys House Next to Ex-Wife, Erects Giant Middle Finger Outside

At least he's not bitter. From Gawker.
Rich Man Buys House Next to Ex-Wife, Erects Giant Middle Finger Outside

by Neetzan Zimmerman
Nov. 15, 2013

A Michigan man has reportedly gone to Internet-ready lengths in order to troll his ex-wife with a daily reminder of his feelings towards her.

According to a person claiming to be the ex-wife's daughter, the crazy-wealthy Bloomfield Hills man, identified only as "Alan," allegedly purchased the house next door to his ex, and proceeded to move in with his new girlfriend Tiffany.

He then went a step further and purchased an expensive bronze statue of a middle finger, which he placed on the back porch and aimed at his ex-wife's house.

As if that weren't quite enough passive aggression, Alan ensured the statue was visible 24/7 by shining a spotlight on it after dark.

"Alan and Tiffany are the best neighbors," tweeted Lenka Tuohy, "but ew who does that lololol."

Apparently the statue has had the unintended effect of pissing Tuohy off as well.

"[I]ts hard for me to enjoy my baths now because my fav tub is in my moms bathroom which faces out towards tif and alans house," she wrote, adding a frowny-face emoticon.

When a friend pointed out that Alan's gesture was making him "look like an idiot," Tuohy concurred: "Like lol someone's not over my momma!"

Cool Products That Were Banned Or Recalled Because Some Moron Shoved One Up His Ass Or Something

Kids and idiots ruin everything. I say leave the stuff out there and let the chips fall where they may. The more we impede natural selection, the worse this will get.

List from Popular Mechanics and Spinderfella.

Summer Saturdays were never the same once Jarts were taken off the market back in 1988. The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) banned the sale of the metal-tipped lawn darts after numerous head, eye, and ear injuries, especially in children. Some companies have skirted the ban by selling the metal tips and plastic fins separately.


For those trying to kill a few hours at work, Buckyballs and Buckycubes have been a classic companion (and they're great for making sculptures for the refrigerator). If ingested, however, the tiny magnet balls will snap together (as magnets do), often pinching intestines and requiring surgical removal. The ban moved into effect in 2010, but the CPSC is currently pursuing a stop-sale order against Maxfield & Oberton, since the Bucky products are still being sold.

Several instances of small children unzipping the bags, climbing inside, and inhaling the tiny pellets were reported, with life-ending repercussions. Millions of free-zipping bean bags were immediately taken off the market in 1994. As a result of the recall, some manufacturers began making double-stitched and double-zippered bags, with a safety lock too.

Faulty stands, brackets, deteriorating wood planks, and poor build quality can make hammocks a secretly dangerous leisure activity. (Seriously, have you ever tried climbing into one of these things?) Since 1994, the CPSC has ordered 12 different recalls involving various hammock manufacturers, accounting for upward of 30,000 units.

Throwing yourself onto a yellow strip of plastic with (hopefully) just enough water to keep you slipping and sliding along—what could go wrong? If you're ever played on a Slip 'N Slide, you probably know already: Some people slid off the slide and onto concrete. Sometimes people didn't even make it that far, expecting a slip and a slide only to stop abruptly, resulting in some pretty serious spinal cord injuries.

For reasons including unexpected water-tank projections and bystander injuries, several water-rocket manufacturers such as Hasbro were forced to recall about 230,000 of the famed toy in 2004. Descending rockets were also known to come back and hit people in the head, which I guess isn't really all that fun.

Maybe these should be banned just for health reasons, but with burning oil and a scalding handle, deep fryers are also quite dangerous to the cook. There's a reason officials warn people each holiday season to be extremely careful if they're going to attempt to deep-fry a turkey. The CSPC has had to recall thousands of different fryers in the past decade.

See the rest here.


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