Monday, September 16, 2013

Amusing Roommate Notes Of The Day

Makes me miss having roommates even less than I already don't.

Lesser-Known Prophecies Of Nostradamus (Of The Day)

From McSweeney's. By Langan Kingsley.
On the third day of May, when the wind crosses West and East,
The green mermaid who protects the outposts of bean-water will be besieged
Empty white cups shall fill cans, and the adrogyne with a green apron.
Shall look upon you and utter that the only available liquid lacks CAFF.

There is an ICY BOX in the ROOM of BREAK of an edifice.
In the box is a sweet cake made of cold cream;
It marks the feast day of ARTHUR from ACCOUNTING
But a tiny corner of the sweet shall disappear right before the celebration.

A woman named BARB shall prepare herself for dinner and drinks
And in her urgency shall dash her APPENDAGE against a bath tile,
Her finger’s keratin shell shall snap, sharply and seemingly irreparably,
Only to be righted after a pilgrimage, to the SALON of NAILS.

Vision shall be clarified when the OPTimal doctor declares CONTACT
Possible between a corrective device and they eyeball but
The payment made in cooperation shall be misquoted
And a lengthy dispute with the entity known as V.S.P. shall ensue.

A tub of LEAFS shall be purchased with the intent to create a mixture
Of vegetables and nuts and oils and vinegar and berries OF STRAW
Instead pasta and cheese are ravaged, discarded wrappers thrown
Just above the rotting plastic tub of forgotten green slime.

(read more)

News: Creepy Anonymous Clown Terrifies Northampton Residents


From The Independent (UK).
'He doesn't juggle. He doesn't twist balloons into animal shapes. He just stares': Creepy clown terrifies Northampton residents

by Rob Williams

A creepy and anonymous clown has been terrifying residents of Northampton by standing around on street corners and staring at passers-by.

The clown, who bears a striking resemblance to Pennywise from the Stephen King-inspired 1990 horror film, IT, first appeared on Friday 13th and was spotted again over the weekend.

According to the Northampton Herald and Post the red haired, white faced clown has appeared in several locations in the Abington and Kingsley areas of the town.

He is also sometimes seen carrying a clown teddy bear.

The newspaper also reports that the clown knocked on someone's door and offered to paint their window sills despite having no painting equipment.

The newspaper reported: "He doesn't juggle. He doesn't twist balloons into animal shapes. He just stares."

The creepy jester even has his own Facebook page featuring a picture of the murderous clown Pennywise.

On his Facebook site, entitled 'Spot Northampton's Clown', he posted yesterday: “Too much hate not enough love. No, i don't have a knife on me!, thats just stupid rumours spread by stupid people. I'm also 'not' on twitter as it confuses the heck out of me.

“However, i might go for a jog around that pond in Abington park later as i'm really unfit... See you around! Beep Beep!”

(continued here)

If Famous Actors Were Women (Of The Day)

Damn. I just turned to stone.

Thanks, Ginni D.


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