Tuesday, April 16, 2013

News: Woman Stalked By Serial Bicycle-Seat Wanker

What, sniffing them isn't good enough anymore? What's the world coming on to? Might as well put one of these on the seat.

From Copenhagen Post.
Woman stalked by serial bicycle-seat wanker

A young woman has in five instances gotten off the train by Mørdrup Station in north Zealand only to find that a man has masturbated onto her bicycle seat.

The saddle-polishing perpetrator has so far only struck on Wednesdays and only when the woman in question leaves her bicycle at Mørdrup Station.

“At first I thought that it was some kind of sick joke, but when it happened for the third time I decided it was enough and reported it to the police. It’s bloody disgusting,” the 19-year-old woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, told Ekstra Bladet tabloid.

The woman said she didn't have a clue who was behind the unwanted bicycle lubrication but feared that children could witness the man ‘adjusting his helmet’ from a nearby playground.

(Read more)

Forgotten 80s Videogames Of The Day

More nerdy goodness from TheFW. For all the hours I spent in game arcades in the early 80s, I don't remember any of these. I thought they might include titles like Q-Bert or Food Fight or that cops & robbers game whose name escapes me because it was a total Pac-Man ripoff.


Unbeknownst to most gamers, there was a third entry in the original Donkey Kong arcade saga. The reason that you may not remember it is due to some dubious decision making by Nintendo. Instead of once again featuring Mario, the company decided that this third installment should star an exterminator named Stanley. Bad move. The game had Stanley attempting to protect his greenhouse by spraying insecticides at the huge ape and various pests that had impeded on his flowery den of solitude. Unfortunately, the resulting game was about as fun as a bed bug infestation.


In 1982, Williams Electronics (the company that helped bring such classics as Space Invaders to America) decided to create a game based on the endless thrills that come from cleaning a dirty sink. (Your guess is as good as ours.) Showcasing the cleaning-obsessed exploits of an easily amused soap bubble, it brought the monotony of housework to arcades everywhere. Fortunately, this one never became a sensation and we were all spared follow-ups inspired by daily irritants like jury duty and tooth extraction.


In the wake of the Morrisey-alienating success that was Burgertime, Data East decided to create another adventure for its cook character, Peter Pepper. And so Peter Pepper’s Ice Cream Factory was born. More of a remake of Burgertime than a sequel, it replaces wads of meat with frozen confections. It actually is way more enjoyable than its predecessor thanks to some lively colors and smooth gameplay mechanics. (Not to mention the absence of evil hot dogs).


Manufactured by Stern Electronics, the addictive 8-bit classic follows a mother pig as she attempts to rescue her piglets (the titular Pooyan) from wolves who doubtlessly want bacon for lunch by shooting arrows at them. Yes, it is as awesome as it sounds. So why aren’t more people familiar with this underrated gem? That probably can be chalked up to the fact that the title sounds incredibly obscene.


The Rock-Ola Manufacturing Company is one of the oldest and most well-respected makers of jukeboxes throughout the world. Realizing that their devices were in danger of being made obsolete by the distractions that arcades had to offer, Rock-Ola decided to dip their toes into the waters of the video game industry. The result was the ‘Pac-Man’-esque ‘Nibbler.’ The fact that their is no Buckner and Garcia song called ‘Nibber Fever’ pretty much tells you all you need to know about how this one fared. 

(List continues here)

Movie Monster Comparison Poster Of The Day

From Geekstir, an aptly named site when you read the comments and see all the nerds arguing about which ones are wrong. Cue nerd voice: "This is wrong. I did some research. The original Kong stands 25 feet in height while the Rancor is 16 feet in height, although in meters, if the the scale is dependent on BLAH BLAH BLAH DORK DORK DORK WHO FUCKIN CARES?!"

I say "close enough to be amusing" and give zero shits beyond that. Click the pic for a larger view.


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