Thursday, May 31, 2012

Forgotten Crayola Colors Of The Day

From Funny or Die, in case you happened to miss their logo on the pic.

Vid Of The Day: Kung Fu Bear

Bears don't play. They beat ya, then they eat ya.

Link from Dorf.

Geek Girl Panties Of The Day


from CherryPiePunk on Etsy

Firefly character icons from BunnyJump on Etsy

from BunnyJump on Etsy

Dr. Who from xannabotx on Etsy

Mario mushrooms from BunnyJump on Etsy

from Puistore on Etsy

from Periodically Inspired on Etsy

404 thong from wondertwig on Etsy

Pikachu boy shorts from Stitch3d on Etsy

Portal companion cube from BunnyJump on Etsy

Superman comic from BunnyJump on Etsy

Unobtainium boy briefs from UrbanPrey on Etsy

Poorly Placed Ads Of The Day: Watches

FOLOTD Colleen went on a cruise recently and snapped this pic of ads featuring Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio. On a cruise ship.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Weirdness Of The Day: Flashed Face Distortion Effect

File under cool and freaky. From PetaPixel. Link from Jody L.

"If you ever create a slideshow of portraits, you might want to avoid showing them aligned side-by-side with a gap in between. The video above shows a crazy optical illusion that researchers have dubbed the “Flashed Face Distortion Effect”. By flashing ordinary portraits aligned at the eyes, the human brain begins to compare and exaggerate the differences, causing the faces to seem hideous and ogre-like."

"Researcher Matthew Thompson writes, 'Like many interesting scientific discoveries, this one was an accident. Sean Murphy, an undergraduate student, was working alone in the lab on a set of faces for one of his experiments. He aligned a set of faces at the eyes and started to skim through them. After a few seconds, he noticed that some of the faces began to appear highly deformed and grotesque. He looked at the especially ugly faces individually, but each of them appeared normal or even attractive.' "

See for yourself:

More info and video at PetaPixel.

News Of The Day: Area Man Winded By Particularly Long Wendy's Order

From The Onion.

GLEN ALLEN, VA—Local man Brett Lussier, 43, was left fatigued and out of breath Thursday after placing a particularly long lunch order at the Wendy's franchise location on Brook Road, sources reported.

"I'll have a Spicy Chicken Sandwich, large fries, baked potato, a root beer," said the man, his voice slowing as his taxed lungs labored to produce each syllable of Junior Bacon Cheeseburger amid audible gasps for breath.

"Cup of chili and…and… hegh, ugh."

According to onlookers, the puffing, pink-faced Lussier then hacked a single wet cough, braced his wearied frame against the counter, and required a full 10 seconds of repose before he was finally able to wheeze out the word "Frosty."

Inexplicable Cat Photos Of The Day

Don't ask me--I don't have cats. And honestly, I don't really want the explanations for these. From Buzzfeed.

See more at Buzzfeed.

Quotes Of The Day: Celebs Dissing Celebs


If my children turned out like Madonna I would drown them with my own hands.
(Whitney Houston)

Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be close to her bladder. (Bette Davis on Joan Crawford)

His album was called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic. (Prince on Michael Jackson)

Donald says he wants to run for president, move into the White House. Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time he pushed a black family out of their house.
(Snoop Dogg on Donald Trump)

I would rather be on stage with a pig. (Mariah Carey on the possibility of her doing a duet with Jennifer Lopez)

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner. (Johnny Carson on Chevy Chase)

I was particulary stunned by the casting of Tom Cruise, who is no more my Vampire Lestat [in Interview With The Vampire] than Edward G. Robinson is Rhett Bulter. (Anne Rice)

Mystery solved! Now we know who the "half a man" is in "Two And A Half Men." HINT: it's not the kid!
(Zooey Deschanel on Charlie Sheen)

That's not writing, that's typing.
(Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac)

She turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
(Joan Rivers on Bo Derek)

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money.
(Comedian Kevin Meaney)

I wouldn't fuck her with Bea Arthur's dick.
(Comedian Jeffrey Ross on Sandra Bernhardt)

Boy George is all England needs -- another queen who can't dress.
(Joan Rivers)

"She's a plumber's idea of Cleopatra." (W.C. Fields on Mae West)

If I hung out with 20-year-old porn stars all the time, I'd think I was a genius too.
(Sarah Silverman on Charlie Sheen)

His writing is limited to songs for dead blondes.
(Keith Richards on Elton John)

I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go on stage and look young.
(Elton John)

"Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?" (Don Rickles on Ernest Borgnine)

"Well at least he has finally found his true love. What a pity he can't marry himself." (Frank Sinatra on Robert Redford)

"There are two things I will never ever do in my whole life. The first is that I will never climb Mt. Everest. The second is that I will never work with Val Kilmer ever again." (Director John Frankenheimer)

"Kanye West is the biggest piece of s--- on Earth." (Pink)

"He looks like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair." (Boy George on Prince)

"She is so hairy, when she lifted up her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit." (Joan Rivers on Madonna)

“Music journalists like Elvis Costello because music journalists look like Elvis Costello.” (David Lee Roth)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

News Story Of The Day: Naked Man Killed By Police While Eating Another Man's Face

The zombie apocalypse has begun. In Florida, of course. Link from Daisy.

Naked man killed by Police near MacArthur Causeway was ‘eating’ face off victim

It was a scene as creepy as a Hannibal Lecter movie.

One man was shot to death by Miami police, and another man is fighting for his life after he was attacked, and his face allegedly half eaten, by a naked man on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp Saturday, police said.

The horror began about 2 p.m. when a series of gunshots were heard on the ramp, which is along NE 13th Street, just south of The Miami Herald building.

According to police sources, a road ranger saw a naked man chewing on another man’s face and shouted on his loud speaker for him to back away.

I ate his face with some
plantains and
a nice mojito.
Meanwhile, a woman also saw the incident and flagged down a police officer who was in the area.

The officer, who has not been identified, approached and, seeing what was happening, also ordered the naked man to back away.

When he continued the assault, the officer shot him, police sources said. The attacker failed to stop after being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing.

Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

(Story continues here.)

Vid Of The Day: David Attenborough Narrates Turtle Humping Shoe

You might remember David from such television shows as "Life" and "Frozen Planet." What, you never watch the BBC or Discovery? What's wrong with you? (Link from Rachael)

My 12 Favorite Epithets Of The Day

So many epithets, so little time. These are in no particular order.



Rat bastard
Capt. Buttfuck
Inbred douche nozzle


Let's hear yours. Why? Because it's Monday (Tuesday, whatever), assmunch!

Friday, May 25, 2012

News Of The Day: Man Dies After Drinking Gasoline From Salsa Jar And Lighting Cigarette

"Hey man, you might not wanna li---KABLAMMMO!"

Man dies after accidentally drinking gasoline from salsa jar then lighting cigarette

A 43-year-old man in North Carolina died Tuesday after drinking gasoline and lighting a cigarette, police there say.

Gary Allen Banning of Havelock, N.C., was taken to a local hospital late Monday after police responded to a 911 call from a resident reporting an apartment fire.

Banning was transported to the University of North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center in Chapel Hill where he died early Tuesday. He had suffered severe burns.

According to police, Banning accidentally drank from a salsa jar containing gasoline at a friend's apartment, spitting it out and getting it on his clothes. 

He later lit the cigarette that ignited his clothes.

"It was just a freak incident," said W.K. Preslar, an investigator with the Havelock Police Department, told the Shelby Star newspaper.

Preslar said Banning's friend was a mechanic and used gasoline to remove grease from his hands. The carpet where Banning was standing was "charred," Preslar added.

Police do not suspect any foul play, but are awaiting toxicology results before concluding their investigation.

Google Search Terms That Brought You Here (Of The Day), Vol. 5

You can't make this stuff up, folks. Actual search terms that somehow led people to List Of The Day. Some I get; others--wtf?

how many carbs in a turkey burger

celebrity penises

carrot top porn

fat ladies on the beach

colombian big snake

hideous people

carls jr menu

nice ass girl

slutty tits

prosthetic arm

cousin oliver syndrome list

funny tampon directions

marisa tomei sexual orientation

pornography cast little house on the prairie

unfrozen caveman lawyer

hidden satanic messages in songs

crack smoking women

hail to V

frog motivational quotes

vanilla ice movie

obnoxious prom dresses

wanked to on

hot mom flashing

priorities motivational

actor that made stupid career moves

the fall guy

funniest nyc homeless signs

how to fuck blossom maryim balek

flintstone porn

perfect cameltoe

phil collins is dead

most gruesome medical conditions

naked in walmart

magic gravity bra

barbie ken wtf

juice newton

thongs for men

rude hand gestures

im too sexy for my headgear

polish party girls dancing with guys

worst pirate joke

batman tv villains

plastic surgery ape

midget man in thong

extreme dog grooming

olan mills

nicholson nip

sex with dog

craigslist hot tubs for sale

rise of the sideboob

lady picking nose

simpsons phone pranks

we had the sex she made me soup

swedish pickup lines

euphemism for fingering

barney cast all grown up

worst tattoos on moms

midgets with short arms

climb a tree when dog chase you

Thursday, May 24, 2012

News Of The Day: Iowa Man Arrested For Drunk Driving With Zebra And Parrot

A drunk, a zebra and a parrot walk into a bar....

Link from BLong and

Iowa man arrested for drunk driving with zebra and parrot in the front seat

When police stopped Jerald Reiter Sunday night, it was probably one of the most exotic drunk driving arrests they’d ever made.

Officers found the 55-year-old in the parking lot of a Cascade, Iowa, bar — with a pet zebra and macaw parrot in his front seat, ABC affiliate KCRG-TV reported.

Police said Reiter had a blood alcohol level of 0.14, exceeding Iowa’s legal limit of 0.08.

He told authorities he considers the animals his friends, and they often come on trips with him around town, according to the Des Moines Register.

He claimed he brought the animals to the Dog House Lounge Sunday night because the establishment often allows people to bring their pets with them, though bar owners told KCRG-TV that animals aren’t allowed inside.

When Reiter arrived at the bar with the zebra and macaw that night, he was told they’d have to stay outside. He told the Des Moines Register that he had three drinks with dinner before heading out, and that a group of gawkers gathered to take photographs of his animals before he got back into his truck.

He said he thinks one of those people called the police.

Reiter disputes his arrest, saying he was just about to get out and let a (human) friend drive when police showed up.

He claimed the truck wasn’t in motion when he was behind the wheel, according to the Gazette, though just being in the driver’s seat is considered operating while intoxicated in Iowa.

Sexology Magazine Covers Of The Day

Part education, part prurience, Sexology, The Illustrated Magazine of Sex Science was America's first sex magazine.

Started by sci-fi pioneer Hugo Gernsbach in 1933, the publication "sought to bring the results of modern science to a general public that had not yet crawled out from under the Victorian pseudo-moral posture of never speaking publicly about sex." 

Articles included such hot topics as "Homosexual Chickens," "Sexual Tattooing," "When Midgets Marry"and the like.

Info from BoingBoing, MagazineArt and io9. Pics from Retronaut. Link from Leigh T.

See more at any of the links listed at the top of this post.


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