Friday, July 30, 2010

Tattoo Of The Year

He nailed it.


Vid Of The Day: Bashing Dreamworks

"Watch it, I don't want any of the mediocrity on me!"


I'm Not Eating There (Poorly Named Restaurants Of The Day)

File under Engrish and/or Found Porn as well. From Ashley V.








Avoid the white pizza




And such an expensive sign, too.


No thanks, you can have it.


Sure is dark in there


Is that even legal?






Why thank you. I just had it stuffed.




When the best simply won't do!


What kind of "things"?


Try the Revenge Platter for an unforgettable dining experience.






With or without peanuts




Better than schweddy balls, I suppose.


If I could shit gold, I'd keep it to myself


Try the fresh jam


Well... it does make you hungry


Free refills







Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Gong

best of craigslist > atlanta >


Gong Ringer


Date: 2010-01-24, 5:26PM EST


Looking for someone to ring a gong in my living room when prompted. Part time position, I imagine mostly weekends.

Experience not necessary, but history of gong-related ceremony in bloodline preferred. Serious inquiries only.

Compensation negotiable.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Prank of the Day: Best Meal I've Ever Had

This appealed to the prankster in me, although you may have to be of a certain age to really appreciate it. ~ Daisy


Postcards From Yo Momma, Vol. 2

Moms crack me up. More selections from a site I love, Postcards From Yo Momma.























See Postcards From Yo Momma, Vol. 1 here.

Vid Of The Day: 35 Movies in 2 Minutes

Here's a video by Pascal Monaco in which he strings together graphic representations of 35 popular movies into two minutes of fun.

How many of the films do you recognize? I got Taxi.

-Frank


Vid Of The Day: Ibex

Hey man, say it, don't spray it.

From Carly.



Famous Last Words Of The Day, Vol. 2

Link from Eli. All quotes from Wikipedia.

Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.
- George Appel, executed by electric chair in 1928.


Codeine…bourbon…
- Tallulah Bankhead

More weight.
- Giles Corey, while being crushed during the Salem witch trials because he would not answer the court.

Now why did I do that?
- General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.

If any of you have a message for the Devil, give it to me, for I am about to meet him!
- Lavinia Fisher, hanged for murder in 1820.


Lady, you shot me!
- Sam Cooke, after being shot in his hotel room.

I should have drunk more champagne.
- John-Maynard Keynes, British economist.

...and now for a final word from our sponsor.
- Charles Gussman, a television writer for the soap opera, Days of Our Lives.


You can kiss my ass.
- Convicted mass-murderer John Wayne Gacy, before being executed.

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.
- Crawford Goldsby, aka Cherokee Bill, when asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged.

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
- Humphrey Bogart

I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
- Thomas J. Grasso, before being executed by lethal injection in Oklahoma.


You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you.
- Alex, African Grey Parrot used in comparative psychology research at Brandeis University, spoken to his handler as she put him in his cage for the night. He was found dead the next morning.

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
- Edmund Gwenn, actor (d. 1959), when asked if he thought dying was tough.

Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.
- Conrad Hilton, hotel tycoon, when asked if he had any last words of wisdom.


Wow!
- Bo Diddley, as he lay dying on his deathbed with his family surrounding him.

Enough already.
-William Herrick, writer

I am dying. Please…bring me a toothpick.
- Alfred Jarry, absurdist writer and playwright

(Famous Last Words Of The Day, Vol. 1 here)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Comedy.com Links Of The Day

I forgot these yesterday because I took my kid to Six Flags and came home exhausted, sunburned, soaking wet and sore as hell. Someone do the humane thing and shoot me. Please? I'll pay you.

Thanks for clicking.



12 Best Test Answers of All Time

“Mad Men” Smoking Montage

5 Best (and 5 Worst) TV & Film Actor Switcheroos

USC Forgets To Subtract Reggie Bush

12 First Posts From Influential Websites

Toy Story Inception Mashup

7 Types Of Cleavage (Of The Day) (NSFW-ish)

How do I love thee, cleavage? Let me count the ways. Actually, The Frisky counted the ways, but toe, back and elbow cleavage don't count, so their 10 becomes seven here.

CLASSIC CLEAVE

A low-cut top + a push-up bra = magically hypnotizing boobage. Feast your eyes on those bad boys! But be careful not to wave them in front of a baby or they’ll take the feast part of that expression literally … especially if you rack it up like Salma Hayek.

SIDE BOOB

Visible thanks to large arm holes, no shirt, or string bikinis and popularized by models like Crystal Renn and celebuskanks like Lindsay Lohan, the side boob is a rare, celebrated form of cleave. It takes a skinny beyotch with big cans and a bad attitude to pull it off.

UNDER-BOOB

The underdog of cleavage, it bares the seldom seen bottom half of your usual rack. This cleave is more about bralessness than creating a valley of knockers. Under-boob was first brought into the light by ‘80s crops tops. Ah, those were the days! Or were they?

PUDDLE O'BOOB

Like muffin top and back boobies, this titillation comes from ill-fitting clothing. It’s the cleavage that is merely over-spillage caused by a too-tight bra. Her cup runneth over, hence she has a bit o’ boob popping.

SITUATIONAL CLEAVE

In some cases, cleavage can be formed and maximized by position. Folding your arms, lying on one side, leaning forward, shrugging your shoulders, grabbing ‘em in both hands, these moves are all tricks of the titty trade.

PADDED BRA CLEAVE

Thanks to science, we can have all kinds of things we weren’t born with, including cleavage
created by gel inserts. This boob show follows the immortal words of Axl Rose, “Use Your Illusion,” and rock it!

BOOTY CLEAVE

The other lovely lady lumps—a.k.a. the coin slot. Low-rise jeans have given rise to the cheekiest form of cleavage.


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