Friday, February 26, 2010

QOTD: Quirk

Quirks. Strange habits. Odd behaviors. We all have them. What are yours?

Me, I got 'em by the bushel, but here's one. I hate talking on the phone. Hate it. Hate making calls, hate answering the phone. I even hate it when the phone rings. I don't answer it. Drives my wife nuts. "Answer the phone!!!" Don't wanna. Not gonna.

Your turn. If you need inspiration, read some of the answers from the last time I asked the question.

Vid Of The Day: Happy Ending Massage (NSFW)

Looks kinda fun.

Outrageous Hotel Guest Requests Of The Day

And I feel bad asking for extra towels.

Links from Mike McG.


A pop star staying at this boutique hotel during the making of a movie insisted on drinking raw milk — straight from the cow — first thing every morning as part of her strict dietary. Concierge Patrick Huynh made regular trips in the middle of the night to a farm a couple of hours outside of the city in order to be back in time for the guest's breakfast. Huynh even opted to milk the cow himself — in his concierge suit.


Sometimes a guest's requests are so outrageous they cannot be fulfilled, no matter how dedicated the concierge. At this Victorian-era resort a guest asked the concierge to promptly "send engineering to my room to change my fireplace from gas-burning to wood-burning." Another guest who was getting poor cellphone reception asked the concierge to have a cell tower installed at once.


A few years ago, a loyal (and extremely wealthy) guest of the hotel wanted to watch a film, privately, on the beach fronting the hotel. However, the guest did not like sand and asked the concierge to "cover it up somehow." A team was dispatched to Mexico City to buy a panoply of rugs that were carefully rolled out on the beach.


A celebrity once asked concierge Simon Thomas to choreograph a very elaborate transfer from her cruise ship to the hotel via helicopter. The star was very specific about what color and make the cars should be for meeting her and her entourage at the ship and then driving them 100 yards to a waiting helicopter.


Chief concierge Raphael Pallais was asked by a guest to obtain a live batch of tarantulas for him to take home and enjoy -- roasted. Pallais reached out to the Explorers Club -- famous for its "exotic" animal dinners -- which, in turn, pointed him to the club's tarantula supplier.


Concierge James Little once flew to London to retrieve the 14-year-old Jack Russell Terrier of a hotel guest who was temporarily living month-to-month at the Los Angeles hotel to take care of her late husband's affairs. Little spent one week (on the guest's dime) in London walking the dog daily to get to know him. On the flight home, the dog flew First Class and Little flew Business.


A guest visiting from the U.K. asked concierge Maite Foriasky to ship a tiger from Florida to London -- on two days' notice. The guest had fallen for a Florida woman and had asked her to return to London with him; she wouldn't move without her favorite pet. With the help of the Miami Metro Zoo, Foriasky was able to deliver.

See more at Yahoo Travel, Forbes

Classic Music Video Of The Day: Focus

Oh, they're Dutch. Okay.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Guyspeak Answer Of The Day: Goin' Down (NSFW-ish)

Women ask, I (and five other guys) answer. Check it out. And feel free to ask me a question of your own; just be sure to direct it to the Wise-Ass (yours truly).

Q: How to tell my guy to go down on me.. without saying anything.

A: What are you, a mime? You should be looking for a new career, not trying to get oral sex.

You could try sign language -- if you know it, that is. And if he can read it. If not, there's always layman's sign-language, which is you pointing at him and then pointing at your crotch. (This is also known as Jersey Foreplay.) But that sort of gesture can be misinterpreted, and he might think you are calling him a p*ssy, which leads to much bigger problems.

(Read the rest here. And leave me a comment on the site if you feel inspired. Thanks.)

Google Search Terms That Bring You Here, Vol. 3

Some of the things people were looking for when they arrived at List Of The Day. Can't make this stuff up, folks.

jessica biel vagina
fat midget
porno movie titles
my ass is on fire
40 and hot
camel toe
tight pants camel toe
"? ? women ass ? ?"
pony woman
hairy beaver
slutty wedding
words for penis
german pick up lines
rebecca from full house all grown up
unwaxed bush
gesture pulling someone's balls
olan mills awesomeness
cooter cleavage
nancy reagan sexy
papa de mailyn cyrus
hintergrundbilder whippet
elephantitis of the face
bart simpson puking
real men of genius you just said duty
biggest penis
vagina costume
chicken crispers
list of the dog
daily weekly monthly list for child day care
number one party school in america
marsha brady
big tits cleavage
darva conger
cartoon characters smoking weed
x2 roller coaster
glamour face shot of the month
spooge on her glasses
don henley afro
lost numbers on hatch
quizno's taco salad menu
bicurious moms
danica mckeller nose job
see through pants
vagina tattoos
owen mills photography
newspaper ad fresh fucking pineapple
dorsey wingo
male thongs
biker bash 2009
swollen clitoris
worst concert ever
chili dogs calories fat
pirate jokes
tyra banks fat
room 222
snl caveman lawyer
brady bunch quotes
skinny jeans
admiral ackbar
upskirt photo
lynda carter nipples
cool ways to tie chuck taylors
better off dead roy stalin
rear and pleasant danger
blowjobs from older women
words that sound dirty
mel gibson drunk
found porn
australia puts algeria into list of dangerous countries
buddy ebsen
ginormous boobs
how to fuck like a freak
yiddish compliments
gay underwear
mother and daughter glamor shots

Vid Of The Day: Denmark Tourism

From The Onion.

News Story Of The Day: Toyota

From The Borowitz Report.

Toyota Chief Overshoots Congressional Hearings by 150 Miles

Finally Stops in Colonial Williamsburg

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The reputation of the Toyota Motors Corp. received another black eye today as the president of the embattled company missed his scheduled appearance at Congressional hearings after he overshot Washington, D.C. by 150 miles.

Toyota president Akio Toyoda said he was having difficulties with the brakes on his 2010 Toyota Prius, which finally came to rest after crashing into a blacksmith’s shop in Colonial Williamsburg.

In a brief statement to reporters, Mr. Toyoda said, “I knew I should’ve driven my Chevy today.”

In yet another embarrassment, Mr. Toyoda, the grandson of the carmaker’s founder, realized for the first time that his family’s name is spelled differently from the company’s.

Mr. Toyoda said that all members of the Toyoda family would be immediately recalled to fix the spelling error.

20 Celebs Who Aren't Assholes (Of The Day)

They do exist, believe it or not. In fact, back when I was working full-time in TV, I had mostly pleasant experiences with celebs. Two that stand out, though, are Jackie Chan and Fred Willard -- among the nicest people I've ever met, celebrity or otherwise.

From The Frisky.


“I met Jason at a friend’s New Year’s Eve party. He was so sweet and he was kind of hitting on me. But then I got chocolate-covered marshmallow all over my face and he bailed. Sigh.”


“Liz and I had a 15-minute phone conversation booked, and she stayed on for an hour and a half and told me we were like ‘sisters.’ (Uh, grain of salt.) She is surprisingly girly—as in, she wants to talk about hair and makeup and clothes. She’s also a total beauty product junkie.”


“I met Joseph when he was doing an art show with my friend in Brooklyn. He introduced himself as “Jo” as he shook another friend’s hand. She said under her breath “...seph Gordon Levitt.” Very sweet and cordial guy. And obviously, beautiful and talented as well.”

See the rest here.

Classic Video Of The Day: Mistaken Identity

This is awesome. Some guy waiting to interview for a job at the BBC gets mistaken for a tech expert there to appear on camera and is whisked into the studio and put on the air. I love how the guy tries to play along, and his replies are no more banal than what TV experts typically say. Yes, it's real.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Altered Signs Of The Day

My apologies for the lack of posts today. I am in NYC whoring myself for Guyspeak.

All pics from Flickr.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Concerts I Won't Be Seeing Of The Day

That's a buttload of fail for one little ad.

Love Your Eyebrows! (Of The Day)

Good stuff from Kat, Dianna and Amy.

Ms. Hooks

Mr. Freeze

Constance Surprise

Browless Bob


Comedy & Tragedy

You Must Pay The Rent! But I Can't Pay The Rent!

Julia Caesar

Nobody move. I don't think it's seen us yet.

Dopey (with Grumpy's eyebrows)

SeƱor Oruga

U Nee Brau

Mona Brow

Curses! Foiled Again!


The Yeti


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