Friday, May 29, 2009

Movie Trailer Of The Day

I cannot EFFING wait. I'll bring the Fritos. Daisy and Bev have the weed. Can someone bring a bong or two and some King Cobra? Thanks.

I mean, with Lorenzo Lamas, ya know, you got no complaints.

From Cleve, clearly a man with impeccable taste.

This reminds me of some of the shite I had to promote when I worked at a certain not-very-funny cable network... like the one about a giant sinkhole. In NEW ORLEANS... the city below sea level. There was also the one about silent rattlesnakes, but don't get me started.

9 Actors Who Imitate Other Actors

(Yes, another rerun, sorry. The blog suffers when work is all up in my ass. Thanks for your patience.)


Viggo Mortensen
Movie: G.I. Jane
Mimics: Christopher Walken

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself…" For years, Hollywood has blown out its birthday candles wishing for an actor who looked like Ed Harris but sounded like Christopher Walken. Viggo's performance as Master Chief Urgayle was so Walken-ian, he could have (a la Pulp Fiction) held a gold wristwatch in front of Demi Moore's face and told her, "I kept this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years," and you wouldn't have flinched.

Michael Rosenblum
Movie: Kickin' It Old Skool
Mimics: Chevy Chase

In Old Skool, Smallville's Lex Luthor plays a smarmy dickhead who stomps on the dreams of coma victim Jamie Kennedy—so, of course, Rosenbaum wisely studied the master. Before he became an unbearable douche, Chevy was the king of double talk (Fletch, anyone?). Rosenbaum's overly tanned, teeth-whitened TV host could easily have been played by Chevy if Old Skool came out 20 years ago and, you know, had any intention of being good.

Christian Slater
Movie: Heathers
Mimics: Jack Nicholson

Really, this one's a lifetime achievement award. Christian's been playing Lil' Jack his entire career, but nowhere is it more on the nose than in Heathers. The eyebrows, the wry, smirking delivery, the constant hanging around cheerleaders—it's Jack through and through. Why these two have never played father and son, we can't figure. Maybe 'cause Jack would have stepped on set like his Departed mob boss, said, "Knock it off, kid," and Christian's career would have ended much sooner.

Renée Zellweger
Movie: Cinderella Man
Mimics: Betty Boop

Someone should have beefed up Renée's 1930s research materials with something other than old cartoons. Her helium-pitched New Yawk accent didn't reflect a single human being who lived through the Depression, but it was a dead-on impression of the balloon-headed 2-D tramp Boop. For that matter, someone should have told Ron Howard that Max Baer actually didn't eat babies and shoot puppies in between rounds. Might have made a difference.

Josh Brolin
Movie: Planet Terror
Mimics: Nick Nolte

From the grizzled chin pubes to the long, greasy hair to the "I just woke up hungover five minutes ago" line delivery, the eldest Goonie channels Breakfast of Champion's Nolte to perfection. Nolte is the only other person who could look at an emergency room full of puss-oozing zombies and react with all the terror of someone who just noticed a scratch on his car door. "Aw, Christ…another go

Ben Affleck
Movie: Boiler Room
Mimics: Alec Baldwin

Remember Bugsy Malone, that movie where there was a bunch of little kids acting like tough gangsters? Well, since Boiler Room was a pre-K version of Glengarry Glen Ross, it's no wonder Affleck delivers a watered-down, pre-pubescent version of Baldwin's classic castrating sales lecture. Affleck's about as intimidating as a male nurse, so the effect is, let's say, less intense than the stare-down from Alec's Blake. Hey, Ben, put that coffee down.

For the rest, see the full article on

Music Video Of The Day

From Willie.

The 20 Most Recognizable Scents In The World

According to a Yale University study cited by and Crayola.

At first glance I saw baby powder and cigarette butts back to back and thought for a split second that they'd listed "baby butts." "Yep," I thought to myself, "That's a recognizable scent all right." The first time I changed my child's diaper was an eye-opening (and sinus-opening) event. I was one of those guys who had never changed one before. Hoooooo doggy. I spied the carnage in that newborn-sized Pampers and turned to my wife.

"Did you feed her a sloppy Joe?"

And the smell. Sweet hot Jesus.

"Is that normal?" I said. "I think she might be sick or something."

She laughed. "Nope. Normal."

"Fuck. Me. Sideways. That shit ain't right. She gonna be doing this a lot?"

"Yep," says the Mrs. "And so are you."

1. Coffee
2. Peanut butter
3. Vicks VapoRub
4. Chocolate
5. Wintergreen oil
6. Baby powder
7. Cigarette butts
8. Mothballs
9. Dry cat food
10. Beer
11. Ivory bar soap
12. Juicy Fruit gum
13. Orange
14. Cinnamon
15. Lemon
16. Tuna
17. Banana
18. Crayons
19. Cheese
20. Bleach


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