Friday, March 13, 2009

Celebrity Cheapskates Of The Day

Famous people who "squeeze a dollar and make it holler," as my grandmother used to say.

Although Madonna is worth more than $300 million, she is reportedly a notoriously bad tipper. According to the British Mirror, the pop singer and then-husband Guy Ritchie once left an $18 tip on a $400 dollar bill.

Jeremy Piven was banned from the sushi restaurant Nobu Matsuhisa in 2007 for being rude to servers and leaving no tip, according to the New York Daily News. He did not, however, leave his waitress completely empty-handed. "He left a DVD of the first year of 'Entourage' to one of the waiters. [An employee] ran up the stairs and hurled it at him as he was leaving," a source told the Daily News.

Singer Mariah Carey displayed some very diva-like behavior when she reportedly showed up at a New York City restaurant with her entourage after hours, demanding service. According to the New York Post, Carey failed to leave a tip in return.

Though well-known for his gambling habit, sports commentator Charles Barkley is much more frugal when it comes to tipping. According to the Seattle Post-Intellingencer, Barkley once described himself as the second tightest pro tipper in all of sportsdom, after Michael Jordan.

New York waitress Katherine Taylor wrote a novel, Rules for Saying Goodbye, in which she names actor Rupert Everett one of the worst celebrity tippers in the entertainment industry.

Barbra Streisand is known in some circles as a notoriously bad tipper. One account claims that she's not only leaves behind measly tips, she's also rude to the wait staff!

Harrison Ford’s net worth is estimated around $300M, but that doesn’t prevent him from saving wherever he can… even on a date with his girlfriend, Calista Flockhart. InTouch reports: “Calista and I went to the movies and I ordered one adult and one senior citizen…I saved $6.”

Usher is said to have once left his autograph as a tip.

Tiger Woods, who is worth over $500 million, reportedly pulled a mulligan on a $5 tip, re-pocketing the money meant for a waitress after realizing he had tipped on her earlier in the evening. He was possibly distracted by the $10,000 a hand of blackjack he was playing.

Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony flew two charter flights that she never bothered to pay for. A lawsuit has been filed, and being that J-Lo is worth $250 million, it certainly looks good for the unnamed airline company.

The following are from, a website that publishes reports from readers.

Bill Cosby - $3 tip on $375

"Eat your puddin' phlism-phlasm, bism basm, poppin, baaaaaah"

Ricki Lake - $8 on $142

"Can you believe it, after the son ripped through the restaurant and scattered food everywhere. How rude, we tried to keep them happy at all times, feeding and kissing butt. And, that's the thanx we get. Offering a free desert too. Fame,who's the shame."

Bruce Willis - $30 on $450

"The whole party was really rude"

Rachael Ray - $1 on $10

"She is promoting a less than 20% tip on a show that millions of people watch. And she is a CHEF!! I can believe someone in the industry would ever tip less than 20%, which IS the norm these days. She's a straight beast.

Bobby Brown -$10 on $250.00

"He was rude and wanted special items that weren't on the menu. His kids were so badly behaved they dump the sugar out of the package on the table while none of the adults paid any attention."

Britney Spears - $26.00 on $523.20

"Rude to me and my server assistant. She made me run my ass off." (There's also the oldie but goodie story of Brit tossing a valet's tip in change on the ground for him to pick up.)

Sean Penn - $0 on $450.00

"Sean Penn is in New Orleans filming & came into my restaurant with 3 other people. Waited on them hand and foot. The bill $450.00 - the tip: none. Cheapskate."

Maggie Gyllenhaal - $6 on $200.00

"Long story short, she got great service and the owner instructed my manager to comp her entire check, as he is a fan of hers. She thanked me profusely and acted all shocked when I told her that the bill was on the house. I almost fainted when I went out to the table after they'd gone to pick up my tip -- six bucks. "

Kirsten Dunst - $0 on $223.00

She smelled, badly. She wasn't even coherent. The guy she was with had to order for her. Bitches didn't leave a tip!

But wait... they're not all bad.

While shooting his latest film, Public Enemies, in Oshkosh, WI, Johnny Depp and his party enjoyed a meal worth $2600. He reportedly left behind a more-than-generous $1500 tip.

Sources: ABC News, Celebrity LoveToKnow, Cinemablend, Cheaply Yours

Classic 70s Music Video Of The Day

I really need to gih-gih-gih-gih-get some Mother's Finest CDs. Love them MFs. And love the bass line in this song.

Onion News Story Of The Day: Area Dad Botches Princess Bride Quotes

From The Onion and MOFM.

Area Dad Botches Princess Bride Quotes

LIVONIA, NY—Mere hours after watching Rob Reiner's classic 1987 film The Princess Bride with his children, area father William Loomis badly botched some of the most familiar lines from the movie, sources reported Monday.

"My friend Laura came over and my dad greeted her at the door by saying, 'Hello. I am Diego Montoya. You killed my father. Now you will die,'" said Loomis' 17-year-old daughter Erica.

"Then at dinner he started waving his wine glass and yelling, 'Irreconcilable!' over and over again in this sort of Elmer Fudd voice. That's not even the right speech impediment."

Loomis has a history of bungling well-known cultural references, most notably in 1985 when he spent all summer asking family members, "Where's the meat?"

Gnome Death

Like gnomes?

Pics from Die Screaming With Sharp Things In Your Head

Mom always said never run with scissors

A sprinkler a day helps keep gnomeys away

Here, Sneezy, these might help

Everything I tell Horst goes in one ear and out the other...

Do I have something in my eye?

Where's the men's room? I'm growing a tail!

I think he got the point, but just in case, let's run through it one more time

Oops, I just remembered, Doc didn't want corn

"Hey, don't pin this one on me," said Gunther.


Ax not what your gnome can do for you...

Talk about a brush with death

Fritz always fancied himself a hole-y man

Cleaver? I barely know her!

Bad Flight Experience Of The Day

Patrick and Tom both sent me this amusing letter from a Continental Airlines customer. According to Snopes, it's real. I especially like the little drawings.


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