Friday, February 27, 2009

Classic 80s Music Video Of The Day #2

How's about one more shot of Cheap Trick to close out the day?

Happy weekend, everyone. I'm posting links over the weekend so be sure to drop back in if you can. Thanks.

Top Fictional "Seinfeld" Movies Of The Day

From Michael K. and Kotite's Corner, a list of fictional movies mentioned in "Seinfeld."

1. Rochelle Rochelle

The tagline pretty much says it all - “A young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.” How can you honestly go wrong with a movie like that. If this were made into a real movie, it may be one of the greatest of all-time. This movie is mentioned multiple times in multiple episodes. George rents the movie in the episode “The Smelly Car” and hides from Susan the fact that he rented it. The video ends up costing George $95 when it is stolen from Jerry’s car because the window was left open to air out the BO. This movie was so popular, it was made into a Broadway musical, starring Bette Midler. Elaine sums up the movie, and men in general best, when she states, “Men will sit through the most boring pointless movie if there’s the slightest chance a woman will take her top off.” Any man who says they have not done that before is a liar.

2. Chunnel

Another movie which is mentioned in a few episodes. The name of the movie comes from the plot, which involves an explosion in the Channel Tunnel. The plot also involves the President’s daughter being trapped in the Chunnel between England and France. Jerry is unable to follow the plot, and discusses with Elaine in the movie theater, which causes Susan to get angry and break off her friendship with Elaine. The tagline for the movie reads “Chunnel: 32 Miles of Hell.”

3. Sack Lunch

Sack Lunch first appeared in the episode “The English Patient.” This movie was released the same day as the English Patient, and Elaine’s desire to see Sack Lunch is ignored by her boyfriend, who insists on seeing The English Patient. Elaine eventually sees the movie by herself, and later, while travelling to Tunisia, Elaine is happy to hear that the in-flight movie is
Sack Lunch. Elaine wants to see the movie to see if the people on the poster for the movie were shrunk down, or if it is just a giant sack. The film is a reference to comedies which have large commercial appeal, however bad critical responses, as opposed to movies such as The English Patient, which earn large critical acclaim and Oscar nominations, but have little popular influence.

4. Death Blow

This is a film that appeared in the episode “The Little Kicks.” After Jerry finds out that Kramer’s friend Brody is bootlegging the movie, he talks to Kramer outside the theater. When they hear a loud explosion, Kramer yells “Ah man, we’re missin’ the death blow!” They both run back into the theater. Jerry bootlegs the movie, and becomes a bootlegging legend. The tagline for Death Blow, delivered by Kramer is, “Death Blow: When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but for different reasons altogether.”

5. Cry Cry Again
Also seen in the episode “The Little Kicks,” this movie is described as an “arty movie.” Kramer bootlegs it after Jerry refuses to do so, and is seen laughing hysterically in the theater while watching it. Elaine tapes over the movie with her dancing, and when Jerry and Kramer are forced to give the bootleg copy to Brody, they say that when observing the film, “You cry, then you see the dancer, and you cry again.”

6. CheckMate

Appears in the episode “The Movie” and is about chess and intrigue. Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer all try to meet up to see the movie together, but due to a series of problems, 3 out of 4 of them end up watching Rochelle Rochelle independently. While in the movie theater, you heard the following Oscar-worthy dialogue come out of CheckMate:

Larry David: I didn’t know you enjoyed chess, your majesty.
King: Why wouldn’t I?
Larry David: Because the king is always in jeopardy.
King: Yes, but it’s only a game.
Larry David: (suspiciously) Yes, of course…. only a game.

That’s gold.

7. Prognosis Negative

This film is mentioned in many Seinfeld episodes. In the episode “The Dog,” George and Jerry go to the movie originally, and Jerry hates it, but does not tell Elaine he went and saw it. Jerry is then forced to go see the movie at a later point with Elaine. Prognosis Negative is supposedly about a man who receives a negative result on a medical test, which he mistakenly believes to be a bad thing.

8. Firestorm

This movie is mentioned in a few episodes, and is a blockbuster action film, starring Harrison Ford. Jerry mentioned at one point Harrison Ford “jumped out of the plane and was shooting back up at them while he was falling.” An “underwater escape” is also mentioned as having taken part in the movie. Because George just got engaged, Susan does not want to see the movie, and George is forced to go see The Muted Heart instead. After the movie, George sees Jerry discussing how great the film was with another person, as Firestorm was let out at the same time. In the episode “The Rye,”
Firestorm starts an argument between Mr. Ross, and Frank Costanza, and Mr. Ross begins talking about it at a dinner party, and Frank Costanza yells that he hasn’t seen it yet, and likes to go into a movie fresh.

(Wasn't there a real Firestorm starring Howie Long?)

9. Flaming Globes of Sigmund

The movie appears in the episode “The Heart Attack,” when Jerry wakes up from a dream about a sci-fi film, and scribbles on a piece of paper “Like flaming globes of Sigmund.” He thought it was funny at the time, but spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out exactly what it means. Jerry turns on the TV and finds Flaming Globes of Sigmund on, with the dialogue, “It’s just as you prophesied. The planets of out solar system, incinerating. Like flaming globes, Sigmund. Like flaming globes. Ah ha ha ha..” (Voice of Larry David).

10. The Other Side of Darkness

This movie appears in the episode “The Comeback” and is a direct-to-video release about a female coma victim and her husband. The film is very long and ends with the coma victim regaining consciousness. Kramer rents the movie and the movie impacts him greatly. He visits a lawyer to deal with the possibility of being in a coma. He then sees the end of the movie, at which point he revokes his living will. He goes to the lawyer, however, the lawyer is at his tennis lesson. When Kramer goes to the tennis club, a ball machine is mistakenly turned and ends up firing at Kramer’s head at top speed, putting Kramer in the hospital. While Elaine is visiting, she looks for an outlet for the VCR, and pulls a giant plug. Kramer wakes up and thinks that his plus has been pulled.

Classic Comedy Clip Of The Day: The Idiot

I'm not sure if I've ever seen this. So damn funny...

Classic 80s Music Video Of The Day

This is one of my child's favorite songs right now; she likes the "Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right" bit. Not gonna tell her what the song is really about.

Great tune -- one of my favorites.

24 TV Characters You Can't Stand

"You" being the readers of Entertainment Weekly and me, because I agree with most of their choices. My comments in italics, and I've added a few hated characters of my own at the end.

"Izzie from Grey's Anatomy. Man, she used to be my favorite, but now all I want to do is shove her off the neat walkway that runs through Seattle Grace. You know, the one with the pretty panoramic view of Seattle." —Jeff

"Mohinder Suresh, from Heroes. Not sure if it's the character, the actor, the over-enunciated accent, but every time he appears on screen I just think, 'Shut up, Mohinder.' —Kathleen

"Cuddy, from House. I really liked her in season 1, but somewhere around the third season I started yelling at her to stop acting/dressing like a prostitute and letting House get away with everything." —Liddy
(She doesn't bug me nearly as much as House himself. - C)

"I hated Brian Hackett (Steven Weber's character), on Wings. Actually, I've had a lifelong irrational dislike of all of Steven Weber's characters. Conveniently enough, he seems to play the same guy in everything he's in, which makes it easier to irrationally dislike his work." —Sato

"Meredith, from Grey's Anatomy. I can't even watch anymore. I remember when they had that episode where I thought she might die, I was so excited, only to be let down!" —Amanda
(Everyone on that show needs to die. - C.)

"Ross, on Friends, is by far the TV character I have hated the most. Whiny, pathetic, almost never funny — and yet somehow still unsympathetic." —Danny
(I hate them all except Lisa Kudrow, but yes, Ross is the worst. -C)

"Lee Adama, on Battlestar Galactica. The only reason I don't want Lee to die is that Laura would have to put up with Bill crying about it. All Lee cares about is appearing to be on the moral high ground. He has no integrity as a person. No wonder his father doesn't respect him." —Lauren

"I gotta say I thought she'd grow out of it, but I can't stand Julie Taylor on Friday Night Lights. She's the only one on the cast who appears to be acting. Then again, I'd give up my hate if the show were on network TV again...." — katy

"Miss Piggy. I can't stand Miss Piggy." —Drew
(WTH? Drew's a fuckin' Commie. How can you not like Miss Piggy?- C)

"Horatio Caine on CSI: Miami. The way he stands with his hands on his hips, with those stupid sunglasses and those stupid one-liners that open the show....I muted the TV every time he spoke in the season premiere. Ugh! I haven't watched the show since." —kristie
(Get in line, Kristie. He might be the most hated character on TV. - C.)

"I hate House. If any doctor ever spoke to me or a member of my family that way, I'd punch him in the nose. He's an obnoxious creep who needs a comeuppance, and soon. Did I mention I hate him?" —Brian
(Yes, thank you. I don't watch this show. There are enough asshole doctors in the real world without watching one on TV. - C)

"Jordan from Scrubs. I hate when Dr. Cox went back with her. She is evil, manipulating, and not funny at all. All around ruins the show for me. Plus, her face changes over the years. It's kind of freaky." —Amy

For the rest, read the full article on

My additions:

Sabrina Duncan on Charlie's Angels. Yeah, I know, she was the brains of the operation, but... gross. Not attractive. Not sexy. Too smug. Too many turtlenecks. I hate turtlenecks.

Dour 1 and Dour 2 on that SUV show. He looks like a hydrocephalic serial killer, and she always looks like she has a huge dump on deck and can't find a toilet.
I know, I know, there's nothing funny about sex crimes, but damn, have a beer after work and lighten the F up. She's hot, though, I'll give her that.

Gil Grissom on CSI. I used to watch Quincy, and Gil Grissom is no Quincy.

Chloe on 24. This snarky, put-upon bitch wouldn't last two days in a real office; someone would take a chainsaw to her. When her buddy Edgar died right in front of her a couple of seasons ago, her reaction was priceless. I need to find that clip.

Allison Dubois and Lee Scanlon on Medium. I didn't know Mush-Mouth had a sister, especially one who works for the distriCK attorney (y'know, it kinda helps to be able to pronounce the name of the place you work; she's like the realtor who calls him/herself a "real-a-tor"). Scanlon's mumbly too, but I suppose when you're the ONLY FUCKING COP (apparently) in a city the size of Phoenix, you don't have much time for chit-chat.

Like A Delta Flight...

.... today's updates will be delayed. Please come back after 12. I should be sobered up by then.

Thank ye


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