Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Classic 80s Music Video Of The Day #2

Since the earlier HoJo went over well, here's another one. This one came in 1989, a few years after his first batch of hits ("Things Can Only Get Better," "Life In One Day," "No One Is To Blame," etc.). Great song, odd video.

Unsung Heroes Of Bond Movies (Of The Day)


Comrade Skidmarks (Goldeneye)
No Soviet soldier stationed at a chemical weapons facility and nourished on a steady diet of borscht has any business claiming one-wipe wonder skills, and yet this guy has no qualms over dropping a load in a stall that's cleary out of toilet paper. We sincerely hope his bunk mates Vladimir and Boris don't mind the dingleberries.

Casino Pirate (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
Bond never catches a break, does he? Not only does Her Majesty's #1 Double-O have to contend with eccentric villains who cry blood and hole up in hallowed-out volcanoes, now he's got rogue casino pirates reading his cards and putting rum in his martinis. Arrgh, the harsh reality of a secret agent.

Q-Branch Gear Tester (Octopussy)
Q-Branch, the breeding ground for all of 007's most technologically advanced toys. Here we have the lovely Vijay, sporting a sexy stripper pole and Teflon diaper ensemble. (And then there's Q, who appears to be taking a giant piss.-CM)

Astronaut Chris (You Only Live Twice)
Poor Astronaut Chris. While all the espionage was transpiring back down on Earth, this curious cosmonaut only wanted to test out his maneuvering unit. Everything looked good, until an unidentified space craft came up from the stern and ate his ship, thus severing his lifeline and sending him adrift into space. Enjoy the cosmos, dude!

Major Perv (The Spy Who Loved Me)
You'd think the prospect of World War III would keep these sailors' minds out of the gutter. But one look at Major Amasova's svelte silhouette showering in the captain's quarters and First Lieutenant Pervenstein is nothing but ahh-ooo-gaaah eyes and boner erections. Jeez, you'd think his collection of Thai ladyboy porn woulda tided him over till they made port.

Geriatric Chess Player (From Russia With Love)
When you're staring down an evil genius across the chess board, you really should have your faculties firing on all cylinders. But check out this old horn-rimmed buzzard, who botches a simple rook maneuver because all he can do is lick his gums and salivate over the non-solid foods on the lunch menu. "Mmmmm, mashed potatoes, tapioca pudding, apple sauce…would this young whipper snapper just check mate me already?"

Chesty McDancerson (For Your Eyes Only)
Sure, a Cuban hitman just got killed with a crossbow and sinister deals are surely afoot, but old Chesty's too lost in the disco groove to give a fuck! Who wants a bump?

Terrorist Stoner (Tomorrow Never Dies)
Nothing beats doing business with terrorist stoners, they're just so chill, brah! "Hey, man, mi arms bazaar es su arms bazaar. So check it out, we got kind Afghan land mines, totally bonkers Russian nukes, plutonium uppers, sarin gas downers, and from my personal stash for friends like you, 100% organic dirty bombs. So, uhhh, do y'all wanna like stick around for a while and test some product? I've got some great Dead bootlegs and a couple of chicks are coming by later to party."

Swiss Family (Goldfinger)
We're not sure if this is the Swiss Family Robinson or the Von Trapps, but one thing's for certain, they run one mean farm stand. So succulent were their peaches and seductive their, um, Swissness, that they even lured greedy Mr. Goldfinger off the road for a sampling of their delicious treats.

Guards In Yellow Jumpsuits (Moonraker)
A word of warning to evil henchman everywhere: If your maniacal boss plans to fly to space with a select crew of leggy blonds, busty brunettes and chiseled dudes, gas the Earth's entire population in his rocket's wake, then return to our vacated planet with the goal of creating the ideal version of the human race, and he hands you a disco-era yellow jumpsuit and oafish-looking headgear with the instructions of, "here, put these on," you sure as shit ain't getting a boarding pass to his proverbial space-bound arch.

Insulting Name Ideas Of The Day

A list from Lahrynn, who sent this way back in September (oops) and said, "These are from a wasterwater treatment manual I'm editing. Yes, I'm easily amused." So am I, because these cracked me up. They're almost Shakespearean in their descriptiveness and crudity.

Now laugh, you pathogenic filamentous muffin monsters!

digested sludge
scum blanket
digester gas
pathogenic microorganism
grab sample
trickling filter
zoogleal slime
gelatinous coating
filter flies
floc mass
filamentous organism
sludge gas
volatile acids
anaerobic digester loadings
activated sludge bugs
methane fermenter
muffin monster

Classic 80s Music Video Of The Day

Remember this song? The first of many hits for Howard Jones, all of them on my iPod.

Commercial Of The Day #2: Barclay Card

Oh how I wish.

From my buddy, Hippie Don.

Google Search Terms That Bring You Here

A sampling of terms that people have Googled and ended up here. In most cases you can see how a search would return LOTD in the results, but some are head-scratchers. I read this list and think, damn, I gotta clean up this place.

All typos left intact.

"blood hunter" nude
white fondant with blue flowers wedding cake
jessica canseco
jfk assassination
"roller rink music"
tv moms nude
senior people fun meeting photos
sexy couple
gay starsky and hutch
shark new smyrna beach
the sexiest weman on tv
preppy villain
barris museum
charlie bit my finger
school pictures of people
beaver breath
pictures of world war two invasion of the germans
shirts that say funny stuff for kids
starland vocal band
brady bunch
jonathon brandeis suicide
scared of santa
fake shaves lynda carter
bull shark attacking person
black tits getting pinch video
yes we have no banana
engrish tea bag
momma's in the basement mixing up the medicine lyrics
herpes penis
speedo mullet
dookie doo poop dog shit
whiskey dick alcohol
deaf leppard
stripping motivational
thorazine rx
mcdonalds give me squirts
tranny bicycle rider biker shemale
publix wheat is unhealthy
olen mills
kill dolphins
nipple clamps
stop.hammer time
herpes signs
i eat animal
gary busey alcoholic
anyone who's used sanitized tape worms

Commercial Of The Day: Nut Bra

I'll cut them off before this happens. From Lola.


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