Friday, September 19, 2008

The 17 Most Hideous Movie Heroes did the first nine, and I added some of my own at the end.

Admiral Ackbar (Return of the Jedi, 1983)
This cosmic crustacean plans the destruction of the Death Star — and tastes great with drawn butter and lemon.

Sloth (The Goonies, 1985)
Chunk’s congenitally deficient buddy (and Baby Ruth lover) uses his strength to subdue the nefarious Fratellis.

The Subway Spirit (Ghost, 1990)
The specter portrayed by Vincent Schiavelli achieves one heroic feat: limiting Whoopi Goldberg’s screen time.

Marv (Sin City, 2005)
Despite a drug addiction and uggo mug, he’s a magnet for hotties. He could have been the fifth member of Mötley Crüe.

Rocky Dennis (Mask, 1985)
A living reminder not to judge a book by its cover. Rocky had a heart as big and wide as his… well, he had a big heart.

Harry (Harry and the Hendersons, 1987)
This cinematic approximation of ´70s-era Bill Walton was frightening to child and Grateful Dead concertgoer alike.

Frankenstein (The Monster Squad, 1987)
In the 1930s, this square-headed behemoth chucked little girls into the river. Now, he says things like "bogus" and befriends them.

Beast (X-Men: The Last Stand, 2006)
Ever dye your cat and instantly regret it? Imagine if that periwinkle monstrosity also had the stilted vocab to tell you off afterward.

Gheorghe Muresan (My Giant, 1998)
Man, CGI will never top the practical effects on display in this movie. Yeesh, how do FX guys come up with this stuff?!

Ok, my turn:

Aileen Wuornos (Monster, 2003)
Shoulda been called Fugmonster.

Anton Chigurh (No Country For Old Men, 2007)
The voice is Latin, but the bad hair is early Dutch. But hey.. don't tell him I said that. Please.

Sheila Kingston (Exit To Eden, 1994)
Wait... is that....? ARGHHH! My eyes! MY EYES!!!

Tony Manero (Staying Alive, 1983)
The pic shows 17 hairdressers trying desperately to reach the pelt atop Travolta's head and kill whatever animal is underneath it.

Momma (Throw Momma From The Train, 1987)
Looks like someone beat us to it.

Carl Showalter (Fargo, 1996)
His teeth went through the wood chipper long before the rest of him did. Poor Steve Buscemi.

Napoleon Dynamite (Napoleon Dynamite, 2004)
Paul Simon called. He says please give Art Garfunkel his hair back so they can tour again. He needs the money.

Glenn Close (in anything)
Michael Douglas cheated on Anne Archer with this?

Cover Of The Day: The Faina Shandann

I give him a C+ for effort.


Cool TV Cars Of The Day

A lineup of famous TV cars. Many of these are from 70s' shows, so you youngun's may not recognize as many as us old folks.

A car has always been an easy way to help define a show's hero, but for many of these series, the cars became characters themselves in a sense. Try to imagine the A-Team with their van, or Crockett & Tubbs without their Ferrari, or Starsky & Hutch without the "Striped Tomato." It just isn't the same.

Magnum P.I. (Ferrari 308 GTSi)

The Munsters ("Drag-u-la")
A custom car created by the legendary George Barris.

The Partridge Family

Vega$ ('57 Ford T-bird convertible)

Happy Days (Ralph Malph's hot rod, a modified '29 Ford Roadster pickup)

The Rockford Files ('77 Pontiac Firebird)

Speed Racer (the powerful -- and fictional -- Mach 5)

Starsky & Hutch ('76 Ford Gran Torino, nicknamed the "Striped Tomato")

Batman (Batmobile)
Another George Barris original, created from a '55 Lincoln Futura, a concept car that was never produced.

Mork & Mindy ('78 Jeep Wrangler)

The Monkees (Monkeemobile)
The Monkeemobile is a '66 Pontiac GTO customized by Dean Jeffries, who also worked with George Barris on the Batmobile. Note the similarities between the two cars.

Kojak ('75 Buick Regal sedan)

The Andy Griffith Show (Ford Galaxy)

The Munsters (The Munsterkoach)
Another masterpiece by George Barris, this 18-ft-long beast was made from three Model T bodies.

Nash Bridges ('71 Plymouth Barracuda - I want this car)

Miami Vice ('86 Ferrari Testarossa)

Mannix (Roadster)
The Roadster was another George Barris custom car, based on an Oldsmobile Toronado convertible.

The Fall Guy ('81 GMC Sierra)

The Brady Bunch ('71 Plymouth Barracuda)
Mike Brady drove this car in Season 3. Nash Bridges drove the same model and year.

Get Smart ('65 Sunbeam Tiger - Seasons 1-2)

Hawaii Five-O ('68 Mercury Parklane)

The Beverly Hillbillies ('21 Olds flatbed truck)

The A-Team ('83 GMC van)

The Brady Bunch ('71 Plymouth Satellite Wagon)

Columbo (
'59 Peugeot 403 Grande Luxe Cabriolet convertible)

Wonderbug (fictional dune buggy made from various junk cars)

The Dukes of Hazzard (The General Lee)
The General Lee was a '69 Dodge Charger.

Get Smart ('69 Opel GT - Season 5)

Miami Vice (Ferrari Daytona Spyder)

The Green Hornet (Black Beauty)
The Black Beauty was a custom car created by Dean Jeffries from a '66 Chrysler Crown Imperial.

Viper (Dodge Viper)

Charlie's Angels (Jill's Ford Cobra)

Thunderbirds (The FAB-1, a modified Rolls Royce)

The Brady Bunch ('69 Plymouth Fury)
Mike Brady's car in Seasons 1-2.

Knight Rider (KITT - a 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am)


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