Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Video Of The Day: Don't F*&% With Keith

Another clip I like to post every few months because it's the bomb diggity. Who needs security when you have Keith Richards? Looks like he finally got some satisfaction. Funny thing is, there was no noticeable change in the song when he stopped playing. Hmm.

Photo Of The Day: Hillbilly Hi-Rise

From Keva and Amanda. Thanks, ladies.

I'm not even gonna tell you how many relatives I have that would gladly live in this... and think it was uuuuuptown. Ahh, Georgia.. home sweet home.

10 Dumbest TV Shows Ever

From Maxim.com, in response to Mensa's list of the 10 smartest TV shows. Kudos to them for being able to choose ten from thousands of candidates...but 24 is a bad pick, fellas.

The Mind of Mencia
Thanks to Carlos Mencia's inimitable brand of racially- and ethnically-charged sketch comedy, we no longer see color anymore. Because we stabbed our eyeballs into mint jelly four minutes into the series opener.

Growing Up Gotti
If Italian-Americans were offended by The Sopranos, they must have been rolling in their pizza boxes over this reality show, which evidently examined how homosexuals have taken over the Mob.

Our nation's terror policy was once compelling and suspenseful, too. But when it started focusing more on John Ashcroft's love relationship with Condoleezza Rice, we lost interest in the war on terror, too.

MTV's Next
Find the one-date format of shows like Elimidate too high-minded? Then watch the same person go on five dates. Not stupid enough? MTV drives all the potential suitors around in a bus until somebody gets Chlamydia.

Deal or No Deal
If you've ever quietly seethed while your girlfriend waffled for hours between two-dozen wallpaper patterns at Home Depot, you've beheld the skill required to win up to 20 years' salary on DND.

Walker, Texas Ranger
The stories were simpler than a Deal or No Deal contestant. Zero plot intricacy, even less character development — just Chuck Norris karate-kicking dudes toting uzi's. And it kicked ass.

Saved by the Bell
Just think what you could have made of your life had you not spent every Saturday morning as a kid watching this mindless high school "comedy" about a demographically engineered group of white kids and their vaguely ethnic friends.

ABC tried to pass off a sitcom featuring people dressed as a family of dinosaurs — complete with a baby who would brain his father with a frying pan while screaming "not the mama!" — as a satire of modern American society.

Who knows why NBC thought the weakest character on Friends could carry his own show. It couldn't have gone worse if his last name was Buttafuoco.

The War at Home
Michael Rappaport got his own family sitcom. Michael Rappaport is the real-life Joey.

My turn. Other shows that could just as easily have made the list: The Simple Life, Alf, Matlock, The Dukes Of Hazzard, Supertrain, Reunion, Flava Of Love, Sunset Tan, Paradise Hotel, Manimal, The Six Million Dollar Man (I loved it but it was retarded), Star Trek, any Sid & Marty Krofft show (Land Of The Lost, H.R. Pufnstuf, Far Out Space Nuts, Sigmund & The Sea Monster, Dr. Shrinker, Shazam!, etc), Lost In Space (another one I loved but it sucked), Family, Punky Brewster, Bonanza,
Three's Company, etc etc etc.. how much time do you have?

Movie Clip Of The Day: Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

I love this movie, and this is probably my favorite scene in it, although it's hard to pick just one. A fortune teller has told Pee-Wee that his beloved bicycle, which was stolen, is in the basement of the Alamo, so he travels there to get it.

Don't ask me whatever happened to Jan Hooks. She dropped off the face of the earth.

Video Of The Day: NBC In Color, 1959

FOLOTD Scott sends this early color video from the Peacock, and explains, "The first color special using new videotape (technology). Dig the cars. Those were the days. The surprisingly high quality color was because the original system was actually better (and more expensive) than the later versions."

An interesting vid, and I have no beef with Fred Astaire, yet I still find it hard to believe that this sort of thing -- an old guy in a tophat, dancing and doing tricks with his cane and scarf -- was ever considered good TV. But then, I ask the same question about "Hee Haw," too, and given a choice between them, I'd take Fred.

The cars were cool. I wish they'd bring back those bitchin' swivel seats.

Ugly Wedding Cakes

An idea from faithful LOTD reader, Kate. From UglyDress.com and UglyWeddingCake.com. Some have quotes from the brides or others.

Weed Cake
"I told the baker I wanted flowers with a tiny bit of greenery. Instead of a knife, my husband wanted to cut it with a lawn mower!"

Dolphin Massacre Cake

Glow In The Dark Cake
"They used a black light and special dyes in the icing to make it glow. You should have seen the bridesmaids' dresses!"

Leaning Tower Of Cake
Better eat it fast.

Redneck Cake
I love this. I'd eat some. How often does someone put a Twinkie in front of you?

Sex Cake
"I guess we were a pretty amorous couple, and our friends kept joking that we couldn't wait for the evening to end to get back to our hotel room. When I saw what they put on our cake I was stunned. I can't wait to get back at them."

Bat Cake
"Everyone started saying that there were bats on my cake," said the bride. "They knew I was terrified of bats. It seems the bakery had put some leaves on my cake that looked just like bats in the dark reception hall. I was too scared to cut it until someone took them off."

Retro Cake
"My cake looked like a pile of bird droppings. I told the baker I wanted a simple elegant finish without much detail, and this is what showed up! I felt like it was 1970 retro or something!"

Dropped Cake
"I guess it was funny in retrospect. Our cake was supposed to be about 2-1/2 feet tall. I was told later that the baker rushed in and dropped the cake on the table so hard that it collapsed on itself. Then she attempted to hide the damage with flowers that she swiped from our centerpieces. That's my throw-away bouquet, on top of the cake. Instead of cake, my guests had cake soup!"

Centerpiece Cake
"Where's the cake? We thought it was a table centerpiece until one of the kids stuck his finger in it!"

"We thought we could save money by having cupcakes instead of a regular wedding cake. I gave the baker my color theme for the reception and asked him to use his discretion in tinting the icing. This hodgepodge is what we got. What a disaster! I wish we had ordered a beautiful cake. Now all our photos show people chowing down on these ugly things." (What did she think cupcakes would look like?)

Mickey Mouse Cake

Videogame Cake
This one I like... poking fun at the groom with his cake.

News Story Of The Day: Mommy Brawl

The decline of Western civilization continues.

Moms allegedly brawl at Chuck E. Cheese

A child's birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in Natick, Massachusetts was cut short after a fight broke out between two mothers. Natick police said the mom of the 9-year-old birthday boy apparently became enraged because the other woman's son was "hogging" an arcade game.

Sgt. Paul Thompson said Catherine Aliaga, 38, and Tarsha Williams, 33, both of Boston, would be summoned into court to answer charges of simple assault and battery stemming from the scuffle.

Thompson told the MetroWest Daily News that police received a number of 911 calls about the fight Saturday night.

He said what started as a birthday celebration turned into a "birthday melee."

Information from: MetroWest Daily News, http://www.metrowestdailynews.com

There's no video -- yet -- but I imagine the brawl went something like this:



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