Monday, January 28, 2008

Rerun Of The Day: Sawyer's "Lost" Nicknames

To commemorate the return of "Lost" this week, I bring you this post from last July.


A compendium of Sawyer's nicknames for his various fellow castaways over the three seasons of "Lost." If you don't watch the show, then, in the immortal words of my friend Danna, "Shorry, shuckers!"

Hero, Doc, Jacko, St. Jack, Jack-Ass, Chico, Cowboy,
Dr. Quinn, Dr. Do-Right, Sheriff, Brother, Hoss,
El Jacko, Amarillo Slim, Cool Hand, Dr. Giggles,
Daniel Boone

Freckles, Shortcake, Sweetheart, Belle of the Ball, Sheriff, Baby, Sassafras, Boar Expert, The Mighty Huntress, Hon, Girl, The Lady, Sweetcheeks, Puddin', Sheena, Thelma, Pippi Longstocking, Little Lady, Honey, Magellan, Kiddo

Lardo, Pork Pie, Stay-Puff, Pillsbury, Jabba, Hoss, Jethro, Rerun, Babar, Hammo, Mutton Chop, Mongo, Deep Dish, Grape Ape, Snuffy, Jumbotron, Blockhead, Ese, International House of Pancakes, Avalanche, Grimace

Abdul, Al Jazeera, Omar, Captain Falafel, Mohammed, Boss, Ali, Arab, Abu, Genius, Sheik, Buddy, The Terrorist, Chief, Gen-u-ine I-raqi, Red Beret, Captain A-rab

Mr. Clean, Daniel Boone, Gandhi, Hoss, Brutus, Tarzan, Johnny Boy, Johnny Locke, Bald Bastard, Gimpy McCrutch

The Artist Formerly Known as Henry Gale, The Big Kahuna, Sucker, George, The Boss, Captain Bunnykiller,
Bug-eyed Bastard, Little Bastard

Betty, Tokyo Rose, Sunshine, Sweetheart, Hidden Dragon, Madame Butterfly

Sport, Amigo, Rock God, VH1 Has-Been, Limey Runt, Chucky, Tattoo, Baby-Napper, Oliver Twist, Munchkin, Jiminy Cricket

Mr. Eko
Shaft, Mr. Ed

Mr. Miyagi, Bruce, Chief, Cato, Sulu, Boy, Chewie, Daddy-O, Papa-san, Jin-bo, Crouching Tiger

Sticks, Sweetcheeks

Metro, Son

Zeke, Bluebeard, Mr. Friendly

Tattoo, Short Round, Kid, Kazoo

Daddy, Boss, Pilot, Chief, Mikey, Han, Hoss

Mamacita, Missy Claire, Barb

Ana Lucia
Sweetcheeks, Sister, Cupcake, Rambina, Hot Lips, Bitch, Ponce de Leon, Ana-Lulu, Lucy, Muchacha,
Little Red Riding Hood, Amiga

Sheena, Lollipop, Underdog, Sister, Sally Slingshot

Zorro, Pablo


Chinatown, Broken Nose Man, Boss, Barry Blockhead

Shrink, Moonbeam

Jungle Boy, Ringer

Chachi, Cheech, Bobby (Brady)

Baby Huey

Bernie, Aunt Suzy, Norma Rae


Craptastic 80s Music Video Of The Day

Good gawd. Lionel Richie stalks a blind chick... how hard can that be? She gets him back, though, with that sculpture. Pwn3d!!!

Thieving Rat With Wings .. Of The Day

They need to put the Alka-Seltzer by the door instead. Problem solved.

Submitted by Lynn, who likes to wait in line for a taco.

A Quinn Martin Production

Anyone who grew up in the 70s will remember the phrase, "a Quinn Martin production." Martin was a prolific TV series producer, the man behind shows like Barnaby Jones, The Streets of San Francisco and more.

From Wikipedia:
The eponymously-named Quinn Martin Productions produced a string of hit television series during the 1960s and 1970s, including The Fugitive, Twelve O'Clock High, The F.B.I., The Invaders, The Streets of San Francisco, Cannon, and Barnaby Jones. His series were known for their highly stylized format: a prologue featuring a stern-voice narrator to establish the premise; explicitly announced Acts I, II, III, and IV; and an epilogue, again featuring the narrator.
They fail to mention the best part of "a Quinn Martin production": the episode titles. These were always laughably dramatic titles that:

1) used words like "gambit," "crucible," "caper" and others that no normal person ever used;
2) referenced mythological or Biblical figures (Judas, Damocles, Herod, Minerva);
3) used corny,
clich├ęd metaphors (Web of Deceit, Nest of Scorpions);
4) frequently followed this simple formula: (noun) + "of" + (emotion) = score! (Triangle of Fear, Conspiracy of Terror).

Here are some QM show opens, followed by a list of some actual episodes from the various series. If I wore a hat, it would be off to Steve Hatchett for the great idea.

Real episode titles from various QM shows:

Perchance To Kill
See Some Evil, Do Some Evil
The Day
Of The Viper
The Deadly Jinx
Rendezvous With Terror
Blueprint For A Caper
Web Of Deceit
For Two
Of Fear
Honeymoon With Death

Dangerous Gambit
Of Thy Father
Of Evil
Of Thieves
The Deadly Charade
Of Treachery
The Damocles Gun
Of Fear
The Devil's Handmaiden
Uninvited Peril
Of Scorpions
Dance With Death
Homecoming For A Dead Man
Death Is The Punchline
Of Silence
The Girl
In The Electric Coffin
The Nowhere Man
Devil's Playground
Blood On
The Vine
Cain's Mark
Bitter Legion
Nobody Beats
The House
The Dead Samaritan
To Ride A Tiger
He Who Digs
A Grave
Hounds Of Hell
Of the Damned
Conspiracy Of Corruption
Arena Of Fear
Triangle Of Terror
Voice From
The Grave
Coffin Corner
The Iceman
A Touch Of Venom
The Games Children Play
The Quasar Kill
Image In A Cracked Mirror
To Free My Enemy
The Plague Merchant
Passage Into Fear
For Betrayal
Wind It Up And It Betrays You
Caesar's Wife
Of Silence
Antennae Of Death
Of Terror
The Minerva Tapes
Judas Goat
Arrangement With Terror
Escape To Nowhere
A Game
Of Chess
Holiday with Terror
A Gathering
Of Sharks
The Loper Gambit
The Year Of The Locusts
A Collection
Of Eagles
Of The Serpent
Of The Lost
Chapel Of The Damned
A String
Of Puppets
Of Prey
Mister Nobody
Murder By Proxy
For Murder
Clown Of Death

Classic TV Show Open of The Day

We never missed an episode. Elizabeth was my favorite sister. I liked her long hair.

Trivia 1: The theme song is sung by Grant Goodeve, who plays David.

Trivia 2: Betty Buckley replaced Diana Hyland, who played the mother. Hyland died of cancer after filming only four episodes. Buckley's character, Abby, was added as the kids' stepmother after Hyland's death.

Trivia 3: Lani O'Grady, who plays Mary, died in 2001 of a drug overdose.

This is the instrumental version from the first two seasons that Spinderfella remembers.

"Langston Hughes," this one's for you. Holy shit, check out Willie Aames rockin' the FRO-MULLET!!!


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