Friday, August 22, 2014

News: Contestant on TV's "Naked Dating" Sues VH1 For Being Shown Naked On TV

Imagine that.
Contestant on TV's "Naked Dating" Sues For Being Shown Naked On TV

In a move that's kind of like sitting in the front row at SeaWorld and then suing them for getting wet, a contestant on VH1's low-concept, goods-as-advertised, "Ah, fuck it"-style reality show, "Dating Naked," is suing the producers after she appeared on the show naked (NSFW) whilst on a date. Yep.

Jessie Nizewitz - an aspiring runway model by trade - was apparently repeatedly assured by producers of the show that her personal business would be blurred out.

However when her episode went to air, in a segment where she performed some manner of wrestling manoeuvre on her date, the briefest glimpse of her crotch apparently made it to air un-blurred.

Admittedly, in a show where people are naked constantly, blurring everything is a pretty big job. But still, one shot slipped through the cracks, and therefore lawsuit, right?

So sayeth Nizewitz: "I immediately started getting text messages. Everyone saw it. My Grandma saw it. I saw her this week and she didn’t have much to say to me. She’s probably mad. My parents are just annoyed."

(read more)

Amusing TV Captions Of The Day, Vol. 4

These never get old to me.

(Previous volumes here and here.)

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Hilariously Bad Writing Advice Of The Day

Good stuff from TheWorstMuse on Twitter.

(more here)

News: Priest Receiving Text Messages From Demon He Failed To Exorcise

Good to know they have cell service in Hell, even if it is AT&T.
Priest Receiving Text Messages From Demon He Failed To Exorcise

Seen here looking suspiciously like a sadder, older Hoggle from Labyrinth, Polish priest Marian Rajchel claims he's started receiving text messages from the demon he failed to exorcise from a young woman.

No word if the demon is just taking advantage of Marian's pay-per-text plan.

Father Rajchel claims that the devil and his followers were not shy about using modern technology but that in many cases their actions were not identified as being the work of evil.

"Often the owners of mobile phones are not even aware that they are being used like this," says Rajchel. "However, in this case it is clear."

One of the text messages, the Austrian Times reported, read: "She will not come out of this hell. She's mine. Anyone who prays for her will die."

Rajchel replied, and was then sent another message in return: "Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher."

(read more)

If Charles Bukowski Had Written Children’s Books (Of The Day)

From McSweeney's. Link from Kelley Wilson.
From Wikipedia: "Bukowski's work addresses the ordinary lives of poor Americans, the act of writing, alcohol, relationships with women, and the drudgery of work. Bukowski wrote thousands of poems, hundreds of short stories and six novels, eventually publishing over sixty books. In 1986 Time called Bukowski a 'laureate of American lowlife'."

If Charles Bukowski Had Written Children’s Books
By Litsa Dremousis

The Whore Who Snored

Why Is Grandpa Heaving?

The Years Will Fly Like Hummingbirds and One Gray Day You’ll Die

Love Turns to Crap Like a Sandwich

The Alley Cat and the Wounded Dog Share Scraps of Bird and Dung

Uncle Hank’s Sack of Empties

Wishbones Come from Chicken, Harlots Come from Hell

The Park Bench Where You Eat Your Lunch Will Be Your Bed Someday

Get Up Now


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